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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/06/2009 8:05 PM |
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lol exactly adelynn. just for the record  I'm debating... I do actually get what the guys are saying and I am watching how I phrase stuff now... lol.
but I'm just saying it goes both ways  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 09/07/2009 11:51 PM |
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| I'm not really saying that girls should have to completely alter the fabric of their thinking. What I'm trying to do is caution you all on how you say what you are saying. Many of the comments made by the girls were comparative in nature. This is not a good thing and will most likely hurt your guy. And I would suggest that even if you aren't necessarily wired for intense physical attraction, you still should focus your small capacity for it completely on your boyfriend, just as I would advise guys to focus their visual drives completely on their girlfriends. Will we do this perfectly one hundred percent of the time? No. But we should definitely try. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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David
Posts:499
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| 09/07/2009 11:57 PM |
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but at least to me, guys are trying too much to look attractive, cuz that's what they look for in girls, and aren't listening to what girls REALLY look for... we don't have to put much work into personality stuff (unless we are really horrible girls who have nothing else going for them but their looks) cuz that's automatic for us... we have to really work on the "outward" stuff. Guys just automatically do the "outward stuff..." and seem to think that's how it is... and dont realise girls actually go for the heart, not the outer shell.
Tell me if I am interpreting what you are saying correctly. Are you saying that girls simply do not have the same focus on the physical that guys do, and that guys should realize, accept and be ok with that?
If so, is the reverse true? Should not girls realize that guys simply don't have the same focus on personality as girls do, and girls should realize, accept and be ok with that? If my original inference is true, then this must also be true using the same logic. Of course, that means that it's totally ok for a guy to only or at least predominately want a girl for her looks and not care very much about her personality or who she is as a person.
I ask that mostly to make a point and not because I necessarily agree with it. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 09/11/2009 9:09 AM |
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| I just went back and read my comment, and I'm shocked at how complicated I managed to make that comment haha!! |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Faith!
Posts:41
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| 09/11/2009 10:09 AM |
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| i havent read all seven pages of this so forgive me if im being repetative but i think it goes back to basic instinks of the strongest survive so there is something subconscious about being attracted to strong toned dudes........ |
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know your limits, not so that you can honor them, but so that you can smash them to pieces and reach for magnificence. --Chérie Carter-Scott |
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initstime
Posts:3
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| 09/11/2009 11:12 AM |
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| I just got here so I haven't read the whole topic, but I did read what you said about feeling like you're not funny enough, David. I'm just curious...what is it that makes you think that you're not funny? I'm just curious because I can't think of very many people I've met who weren't, in some way or another, funny. Maybe I am just too easily amused, but people are hilarious, and sometimes the funniest people are the ones who don't realize that they're funny. I guess I am just trying to encourage you that even though you might not feel like you have an attractive sense of humor, there will likely be a girl who notices the style of humor you do have and appreciates it. Not everyone is funny in the same way and that's ok.
Posted By David on 09/07/2009 11:51 PM
I'm not really saying that girls should have to completely alter the fabric of their thinking. What I'm trying to do is caution you all on how you say what you are saying. Many of the comments made by the girls were comparative in nature. This is not a good thing and will most likely hurt your guy. And I would suggest that even if you aren't necessarily wired for intense physical attraction, you still should focus your small capacity for it completely on your boyfriend, just as I would advise guys to focus their visual drives completely on their girlfriends. Will we do this perfectly one hundred percent of the time? No. But we should definitely try.
This is some very good advice.  |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/20/2009 2:38 AM |
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yeah actually David, howcome you think you're not funny??
Some of the stuff we've talked about, I find myself laughing heaps, so you are funny...
OK maybe that's just cuz I laugh at like anything... but it still counts |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 09/21/2009 11:14 PM |
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| Ya David! Think more positive about yourself. I often find myself laughing at you, even if it's in exasperation! You're one of those men who is more serious minded and into reading and writing (like I've met you! I just think that's what I've seen in you) but even those people aren't always boring. Except this one guy I know...we won't start that I can tell you aren't like him! |
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MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
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| 09/25/2009 7:03 AM |
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| David you crack me up sometimes. You may tend to over-analyze life, but the world needs people like you. You bring new perspectives. I don't always agree with you, but you can be quite funny and I love how articulate you are. That is something I lack lol |
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I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 10/10/2009 3:11 AM |
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After reading Jojo's comments, I do 100% agree with her (as usual). Now that i think about it, the thing that attracts me to guys is his face. I just realized that I'll see a totally toned and buff guy, and i'll think, 'wow he's got muscle' but that's pretty much it. His face is what usually attracts me, and, to reiterate what jojo and the other girls said, his personality is what matters most to me.
I'd also like to say, I'm sorry David, because sometimes our words can come out totally wrong, and we end up saying something that poorly depicts what we actually mean. I've been trying to work on that for a while now.  But i understand what you're saying.
Tell me if I am interpreting what you are saying correctly. Are you saying that girls simply do not have the same focus on the physical that guys do, and that guys should realize, accept and be ok with that?
If so, is the reverse true? Should not girls realize that guys simply don't have the same focus on personality as girls do, and girls should realize, accept and be ok with that? If my original inference is true, then this must also be true using the same logic. Of course, that means that it's totally ok for a guy to only or at least predominately want a girl for her looks and not care very much about her personality or who she is as a person.
I ask that mostly to make a point and not because I necessarily agree with it.
Well... let me put it this way, though i may not be getting my thoughts across the way i want to: yes, girls put more emphasis on his personality than on physical traits, we tend to notice his face first, and we're attracted not only to his physical traits, but more so on his personality, his character, his relationship with God. In my own opinion, I don't think guys necessarily have to understand this, but at least accept it? :/ I'm understanding that guys appeal more to physical attraction, and i don't necessarily understand why, but i do accept it.
Umm, well, can a guy date a girl just because she looks super hot, and not care that she has a totally selfish attitude and character? If he doesn't care for her as a person, then he wouldn't have respect for her as an individual. I'm thinking for a relationship to really work, physical attraction AND attractiveness in character-which counts for respect- has to go together.
One last note: David, I have to agree with the other comments, and i have to ask: why don't you find yourself funny/humorous? From what i've read, i think you're super funny. I don't think you're lacking in the humor department because from what i've read, i've laughed so HARD, you really made my day. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 10/10/2009 2:42 PM |
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Agree and I agree again! Well put Nicole.
Again David, if you aren't the class clown or the one everyone thinks is funny doesn't mean you aren't. From what I have read and what you say about yourself, you have a quiet dry humor. Maybe? Like one of my brothers, he never asserts himself and only says a word now and then but of anyone I've ever met he's the funniest guy around. Hey it doesnt' always have to be words it can be expresssions. Maybe I'm just going in circles about nothing, but if I were you I wouldn't worry about trying to be humorous...be yourself! |
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HeArT4JeSuSgAl
Posts:7
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| 10/15/2009 3:51 PM |
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| I am not really sure how to answer that because I know that I personally like a guy's personality more than his looks. |
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I've got 1 thing, 2 say, 3 words, 4 you
I love you. <3 |
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andi
Posts:4
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| 11/13/2009 9:01 AM |
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Kathryn that is soo true!
to me humor is a big aspect but to one of my friends humor isn't important so it depends from person to person. but a bit of humor is always nice in a guy! |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/13/2009 3:07 PM |
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Posted By David on 07/24/2009 5:59 PM
This only works if "yourself" is an attractive person. What if being yourself meant playing Dungeons and Dragons all day, bloating up to three hundred pounds, and being an all around socially awkward person?
Man, you about pegged me. Thanks
I weigh two hundred pounds, I have played D&D and am always socially awkward. I guess I'll just have to suck it up.
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/13/2009 3:47 PM |
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Don't worry Kiol! I had a very good friend that was...well...huge! He was a hard worker but also a video gamer and well, big! He lost at least 80lbs, but I sure liked him even before he lost any. He has a brother that is 12, is 6 ft tall and 200 or more and that kid is so sweet and I love him. So don't let your size get you down. When kids make fun of you don't let it eat you up and make you bitter. My friend carried around pain inside for years and finally he just had to give it up. Remember you are loved the way you are. If you can do something about your weight it wouldn't hurt to try, but just make sure your general appearance is decent (hair combed, shoes tied) and people won't be turned away by you!
I assure you almost everyone feels socially awkward at times. Some definitely are more than others, but if you know that you can do something about it. |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/14/2009 2:30 AM |
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Woah Clare! I was kidding, even though what I said was true, I don't let it bother me, it is overall not important, I do at times wish I would work harder at wieght loss (for her) but it doesn't bother me. I did used to play video games alot, but I know sports nerds that play more than I do know, because I got over video games - and set goals for myself. And I only played D&D once, fun game. I have a best friend who sounds like that guys brother - He is 6ft tall or so, just turned 13 and weighs about the same as me. Im droning so I'll say what my point is: Weight doesn't matter to anyone that I've ever cared about and anyone who obsseses over it, just plain isn't worth my time. I was kidding, David - so, I will say what I should've before - JK
Sorry for the confusion, KYLE (that was a dictonary style spelling - as in pronuciation - I am gald my parents didn't spell my name like that, lol)
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/14/2009 2:34 AM |
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PS - I do try to drees decent, altough my acne is bad. I don't look like I weigh 200lbs (In my profile pic < I'm in the red shirt). And usually my social acwardness is based on the fact that I can't stop talking, like now. Still, I'm not that uptight about my apperance (In case you thought I was the other guy, he is my uncle - and and 24, now has his first GF! 
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Ari
Posts:3
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| 04/26/2010 1:14 AM |
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I know this was posted a while ago, but I'd like to respond anyway. I just want to say that, for the record, not all girls have an issue with sex.
Maybe I'm not your typical female, but I absolutely don't think sex is gross...I dunno, I can't picture myself having to be talked into it like the stereotypical woman is supposed to be. My friends feel the same way. We're all waiting for marriage, but not because we have no interest, or because we're not curious--we do, and we are. I'm sure that in a serious relationship, waiting will be difficult for us also.
Something my bishop really emphasizes when he talks to the youth in my church is that desire is NOT evil or unnatural--it's how and when you express it that's important. Those kinds of feelings are a good thing--and not just for men. I'm almost eighteen, and the hormones are kicking in. I've never been a guy (haha), so obviously I can't compare, but I will say that I'll probably be just as excited for my wedding night as my future husband, whoever he is. I'm not exempt from that just because I'm female.
Also, back to your original question--I don't think the male body is gross either. You asked for specifically what was attractive about it....that would be a long post. I notice a lot of little things.
Do I sound like a sex-crazed teenage boy in this post? I'm a good Christian girl, I promise. But men and women are suppposed to be attracted to each other, and I think I've finally grown up enough to admit that I am. |
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Ari
Posts:3
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| 04/26/2010 1:24 AM |
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David, as for the humor dilemma....I absolutely know how that feels. Having a sense of humor (as in knowing how to laugh) is very important, but you're either born funny and charming or you're not. I don't have that exact problem, but I'm very quiet and have difficulty talking to people. No matter how hard I try, I simply can't be talkative like my friends. It's not like going for a run every morning and voila--you have a great body. So while being funny and charming is great, I'm not going to hold the lack of that against someone. My general rule for my life is that any guy with decent morals deserves a chance. That's not to say you're going to be interested in all of them--of course you aren't--but they're worth getting to know.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
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rachel
Posts:35
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| 04/28/2010 2:37 PM |
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| hm well i like guys that are nice to me and people around me, actually care about school and their future, and treat others with respect. i also kind of like the guy to be taller than me, and usually i'm attracted to guys with brown hair. i'm not saying that i couldn't be attracted to guys with other hair colors but usually i date guys with brown hair. |
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"The difference between involvement and commitment is like a eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved-the pig was committed." |
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