| Author |
Messages |
|
David
Posts:499
 |
| 07/24/2009 1:51 PM |
|
Kathryn, I would tend to agree with you, but I will ask this. How do you think our free will interacts with the will of God?
Locke, that I can agree with. I just get irritated sometimes with all the hoops guys are expected to jump through to attract girls, haha. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/24/2009 1:53 PM |
|
There are so many kinds of personalities you can never fit in with them all David. There will be a certain stripe of girls (and guys) that will get along with you and love you. You can't please everyone. So what kind of girl are you trying to please or impress. Just girls in general? Are you attracted to outgoing or quiet girls? Strong or sensitive? A lot of this has to do with personalities. I'm an introvert and yet very very capable and independant and tend to worry to much! So I am attracted to guys that are mild, patient, and can make me relax and laugh at my 101 worries. There is hardly one kind of guy that everyone likes because there isn't one kind of personality!
I like your point Katherine. I think maybe we sometimes get a little to carried away with things that maybe don't matter that much. |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/24/2009 3:12 PM |
|
| David, why is attracting girls so important? |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/24/2009 4:52 PM |
|
While there are different kinds of personalities, all girls in this culture are subject to the same cultural messages. Girls are psychologically more alike than they are different.
Attracting girls isn't necessarily important, but being able to attract the right girl is. I don't really buy into the notion that it will just happen. That girl, whoever she is, will have been subject to the same cultural teachings on what to expect in a guy. The method in which most girls are attracted will most likely be the method with which she will be attracted. This does not mean that all girls are as "bad" as "most girls," but that all girls respond very well to a fairly similar version of charming wit. If a guy does not possess this quality, then even if he meets the right girl, he'll have a very hard time attracting her. Attracting her is the first step in a relationship with her. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/24/2009 5:25 PM |
|
| Have you ever asked a girl out? Maybe you're focusing to hard on being a certain way rather than just being yourself. That's the most attractive thing in a person, being who they really are. |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/24/2009 5:59 PM |
|
Currently, due to a move, I don't know anyone to ask out or I would have.
just being yourself
This only works if "yourself" is an attractive person. What if being yourself meant playing Dungeons and Dragons all day, bloating up to three hundred pounds, and being an all around socially awkward person? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Abi_xD
Posts:34
|
| 07/24/2009 10:58 PM |
|
Haha I'm 21.How old are you? Lets just say im still in high school.........(im not like 12 thou haha)
I'm in Yr 10 so yes big age difference (thats explains why our vocab is so different as well)
Anyways before you said something about non humorous guys being disadvantaged. A girl might be drawn more quickly to a guy who makes her laugh but a courteous guy could leave a better impression.
Theres also different types of humor. I always thought a guy at my school was funny but just before the school holidays i heard him making fun of people to make his friends laugh. (things like, no one likes a ranga) now his humor doesnt amuse me and he just seems like an attention seeker all the time.
It also depends on the girl, a more introvert girl might be turned off by a funny guy.
|
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/25/2009 10:15 AM |
|
You don't think that God will make it all work out; instead, you have to go out and find someone, pick someone yourself?
You know that verse about being lukewarm, Revelation 3.15-16? "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!"
God wants to be part of every aspect of our lives, not just the easy ones or the easy to give to Him ones.
I'm not saying to give up on romance or wanting to be married. But there are more important things- it even says so in 1 Corinthians 7. The one who gets married isn't wrong, but the one who doesn't does better. I once heard a saying that went something like this:
Run as hard and as fast as you can for God, and then see who is keeping up with you.
|
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Locke
Posts:223
|
| 07/25/2009 10:46 AM |
|
To be fair, read Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. If we go by this, God encourages men to seek out a woman to marry - though at the same time we should certainly seek God's will.
About 1 Corinthians - I would venture a guess that most people do not have the gift of singleness - from 1 Cor. 8-9, it says this: Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
I don't know many people like that - I know I don't come close myself. Do you? |
|
It is trifles that make the sum of life. |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/25/2009 11:38 AM |
|
haha, sorry all, I didn't mean to preach. I just think it's ridiculous when people are so focused on marriage or romantic relationships that they forget what we're really supposed to focus on- Loving the Lord our God with all our Hearts, all our Minds, and all our Souls.
I sometimes wish for the romances that a few of my friends have, but not really. It's just not the life I feel called to, it's not something I really want. Maybe I'll some day meet someone who changes my mind about that, but in the mean time, I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/25/2009 1:57 PM |
|
Being married is deffinatly not the most important thing in life but like Locke said those that have a hard time controlling themselves it is best that they get married. I know quite a few singles who seem to have something special that married couples don't. I can never place just what it is but it always made me want to be single. I don't think I will be though But in 1Corinthians Paul says it is better to remain single like he is I guess I often wondered how he knew which was better if he never was married! |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/25/2009 3:14 PM |
|
You don't think that God will make it all work out; instead, you have to go out and find someone, pick someone yourself?
The only way God can "make it work out" is to make us do something, therefore conflicting with our free will. God won't do this. As such, God cannot "make it work out." God should be a part of your romantic life, certainly, but His being a part of it is no guarantee it will happen or work out. That guarantee would require the removal of free will. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/25/2009 4:01 PM |
|
| Right David! I've seen couples who marry and "let God work it out" not for me thank you! |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/25/2009 6:42 PM |
|
| High five, Clare. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/26/2009 11:25 AM |
|
what is the point of God, then, if He can't do anything?
Given the CHOICE of God's will or my will, I'll use my FREEWILL to follow God. I could choose to chase after someone, and hope God blesses it... or I could go on with my life and if God brings someone into my life and after getting to know them I fall for them, I can still use my freewill to mess it up or go for it. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/26/2009 11:48 AM |
|
God can do everything, but He won't do some things. In order to guarantee that we fall in love and have a good marriage would require him to violate free will - something He will not do.
I could choose to chase after someone, and hope God blesses it... or I could go on with my life and if God brings someone into my life and after getting to know them I fall for them, I can still use my freewill to mess it up or go for it.
Of the two scenarios you list, the first one is actually correct, to an extent. About the second, let me ask you this: how exactly could God bring someone into your life? Would He not have to manipulate or outright control the other person to guarantee they arrive within vicinity of you? Your last sentence is the crux of the matter: this person or one of many people who God would want you to be with have their own sets of free will. What if every time God tries to nudge them towards you they use their free will and disobey? You might never meet someone waiting on God in this way; nor do I think this process is reflective of God's will.
Following God's will in romance I think looks more like this: God has given us many guidelines for how to go about a relationship and subsequently the type of person, in general, we need to be with. We can then choose to pursue or not pursue someone based on the criteria God laid down for us. Following God's will in romance isn't waiting for Him to magically bring someone to you. It is to use His guidelines and commands as the basis for which you go about your romantic relationships. The difference here is that when you use God's guidelines, you are still playing an active role in finding a spouse. You aren't just sitting around and waiting. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/26/2009 2:33 PM |
|
| then maybe that is the difference between our points of view- I don't mind never getting married. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/26/2009 6:10 PM |
|
| Perhaps you have the gift of singleness. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 07/26/2009 8:58 PM |
|
| Right now, yes, I do have the gift of singleness =D |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 07/27/2009 1:49 PM |
|
| I believe God can make anything work. But Like I was telling my bf, there isn't "the perfect one" out there. I don't agree with people when they say that. If there was only one out there, what about those whose first spouse dies and they marry agian, obviously there were two meant for that person. I've seen young people wait and wait for God to bring the perfect one in their life when all along the next door neighbor (figuratively speaking) was the jewel and got over looked. It doesn't mean to date every man that comes along, but sometimes you'd be surprised how beautiful the inside is on those rough guys around you! |
|
|
|
|
|