| Author |
Messages |
|
Beckah
Posts:903
 |
| 01/31/2010 6:31 PM |
|
Ok so my dad sys NO jeans to church.  He wants us to dress nice, like skirts-jean or fabric and dresses below the knees, or black dress pants and khakis with a nice top, in the summer we can wear khaki capris.
I have argued with him about wearing jeans to church and still the answer is NO! Just for every day in the summer i can wear shorts above my knees but i cant wear a short jean skirt(even with shorts under)!
I guess idk what to do really..?...
there might allready b a forum kinda like this out there, but i thought this would b a neat topic... so any input would b awesome! thanks |
|
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 01/31/2010 7:46 PM |
|
Is this new? I mean, what have you been wearing so far?
Do you think this is fair? Have you discussed with him why he thinks this is the right way to dress for church? Really ask him, not just looking to change his mind but to learn about why he wants this. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Beckah
Posts:903
|
| 01/31/2010 9:29 PM |
|
@ Adelynn................its always been this way, but he let me wear jeans 1 time. it was -35 to -40 below out side 2 sundays ago..other than that i normaly wear skirts, dresses, black dress pants or khakis...well yes and no, i see that he is trying to keep me safe by being modest,(if u know wat i mean) and dont get me wrong, i want to be modest. but sometimes i just get fusterated...
like just last christmas... i loved this one fancy black dress and i needed something for our christmas program at church. well it was high enough at the top and the bottem hem just brushed the top of my knee, after some debate he let me get.. he had said it wont happen again though.
|
|
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 01/31/2010 10:02 PM |
|
Modesty is one thing, but...
This whole idea of having to dress up for church just doesn't seem to jive with a wandering, homeless, barely bathing messiah. Or his stinky, animal skin wearing, homeless, bug eating cousin the prophet.
Certainly we should try to respect God, but (given that it's modest, whatever that means) I strongly believe many more conservative churches put way too much emphasis on exteriors like dressing nicely. It's not about respecting God anymore (was it ever?), it's about fitting a status quo, especially if you're being forced (can you really force someone to respect?). The god that expects his followers to dress in their "Sunday best" to come to Him in community is not the God I know.
Have we forgotten that Jesus gave all sorts of crap to the religious types because of their huge focus on the exterior? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 01/31/2010 10:33 PM |
|
What David said. I don't advocate intentionally going to church looking like you just crawled out of a dumpster, but I have no problem with wearing my blue wranglers, cowboy boots, and a button-down semi-dress shirt to church.
If I'm reading you right, your dad is more concerned about modesty than the jeans. I will say that I think girls should dress in a way that is not distracting to the guys at church. Short skirts and tight pants can very easily do that. You just don't want guys to be sitting in the middle of the sermon looking at the preacher and thinking..."Jesus commands us to flee youthful... ooohh nice ____...lust, and to guard...heh, she must be saving for a car or something cuz that skirt is short...our eyes and hearts." Not that bad, but you get the idea. LOL Just be careful that you don't cause a brother to stumble. That is in the Bible.
|
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 02/01/2010 9:18 AM |
|
Hey David! Good to hear from you =]
I was actually thinking just the same thing this morning. I visited a very small, non-denominational church on Sunday and it was great, no one looked like they were out for the country club or anything, but I was wondering what it would feel like to be just an average someone who has questions and decides to try church, just this once... but then throughout the service they are thinking "I don't belong here. No one else has a tattoo, I bet, and no one else has four piercings or a bellybutton ring, and they are all dressed up and I'm not... and what was just said? We're supposed to be little Jesus'? ha I don't look anything like this guy they are talking about..." |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
AllieRay
Posts:82
|
| 02/01/2010 10:50 AM |
|
| Well, for one, you want to respect your dad and his decisions. Some people just think it is disrespetful to wear jeans to church, but everyone has different opinions. I'm not allowed to wear tshirts to church, but all my friends do. So yeah it is just a different opinion. |
|
Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Lost get found by Britt Nicole |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 02/01/2010 2:47 PM |
|
I've learned arguing with your dad gets no where, and if you do get your way you don't enjoy it as much as you thought. And is it that big a deal to wear jeans? I'm forbidden to even wear jeans! I do when I'm skiing cuz it's hard to stuff a skirt in ski pants, or when I'm out hunting. But those are extremes. Dad would let me wear jeans but not over mom's dead body would she let me. There are skirts that are more modest than jeans, and jeans that are more modest than skirts! Last year I spent a lot of time arguing with mom, fitting in seemed pretty important. Finally I gave up. I wear my skirts and enjoy it, (at work I might wear jeans) I have had a lot of guys tell me they are glad for the way I dress, it makes it so much easier for them.
It still is a struggle at times. My friends wear jeans, my older sister that doesn't live at home wears jeans, and my brother's girlfriend (in consider her a sis) is doing the whole lady gaga look with tight leather high boots...any way it is awkward when I'm with all the girls because I look way different! And just two years ago they were all wearing skirts. I feel like a nun at times! lol 
So is it to fit in or for practical purposes Beckah??? |
|
|
|
|
Liz
Posts:341
|
| 02/01/2010 6:01 PM |
|
I am only allowed to wear jeans every so often. Usually when it's blizzarding.
I actually enjoy dressing up for church, but there's only me and a couple others who actually wear skirts/dresses on a regular basis. The others mostly go in jeans. |
|
A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 02/01/2010 7:50 PM |
|
| Adelynn, I'm glad you mentioned that about strangers not fitting in at church. I come from an amish-mennonite church where on Sunday mornings, everyone is supposed to wear a long-sleeved white button-down dress shirt, and black pants with black socks and black shoes. Many of the middle-aged or older men wear "Beachy" straight cut suit coats with no visible, or black buttons. The women wear cape dresses, and head coverings. We're supposed to be the light of the world, so we get to talking to a stranger, and invite them to come to church with you. They agree. They show up in a t-shirt for some rock 'n roll band, torn up jeans, a couple tats, a necklace, and a pair of sneakers. The second he walks in the door, 235 pairs of eyes staaaaaaaaare at this absurd specimen, he gets freaked out, says these people are crazy, and never comes back to church. Lights of the world at its best! Not. Sorry, pretty much off topic, but That's bugged me all my life. |
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 02/01/2010 9:00 PM |
|
| That bugged me too! My relatives weren't Mennonite and would never visit our church it was too awkward. And how did the closed lapel suit coats come around any way!! Yes these are the light of the world who oddly couldn't get others to even attend their church. And the solemn singing 6 versed hymns in a mournful way. Man it's nice having another person on here who knows what I'm talking about. I haven't been back in a Mennonite church for about a year. |
|
|
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 02/01/2010 10:04 PM |
|
| Yeah, I was always embarassed when someone walked in looking kinda like that. You know everyone talks about the story about the church service where everyone was all dressed up and proper, and the poor homeless, man with tattered and torn clothes, and hadn't taken a shower in a while walked into the church and saw all the pews were filled, so he walked up the center aisle and sat down on the floor in the front. Everyone stared at him because he was so weird, and disgusting, and all that, but then one of the pastors got up from his seat, walked up the middle aisle, and sat down on the floor with him, and everyone was supposed to feel all good and happy about the story. Sure, you can be "that pastor, who joined him," but why set up a situation for everyone to fail at that so easily! |
|
|
|
|
artyprincess
Posts:226
|
| 02/02/2010 3:52 AM |
|
Well, the bottom line for me is honor your parents. If your dad said no jeans, don't wear them to church. Find a long warm skirt, wear tights under it, and enclosed shoes. Or else just wear the black dress pants. Does he allow like corduroy pants? They're warm!
I like to wear skirts to church, but I'm not made to. In winter I will sometimes wear jeans and a dressy top, but our winters here are never snowy. Hope you find a warm solution soon! |
|
God Can. |
|
|
clare
Posts:952
|
| 02/02/2010 2:35 PM |
|
| How many times have I heard that story and just how many people have I seen do it??? And from what I know, even you don't exactly dress the way we had to at our church. Just looking at your small picture you are wearing 4 forbiddens!lol Any way maybe we can just get a little more off subject!haha |
|
|
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 02/02/2010 9:25 PM |
|
| LOL T-shirt, bill cap, necklace, and mustache...LOL |
|
|
|
|
Beckah
Posts:903
|
| 02/02/2010 9:42 PM |
|
@ Grant...so you go to an amsih-mennonite church?? i think it would be so cool to go to one..
i think the amish and mennonite are very neat ppl.
@ artyprincess...yes i can wear corduroy pants, but i dont have any right now.. yeh i live i ND so the winters are like -20 to -30 below and LOTS of SNOW!! I like long skirts, but i hate tights, so i wear leggins insted. |
|
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 02/02/2010 11:13 PM |
|
| @Beckah I used to. Spent the first 19-20 years of my life at one. My parents still go there, and my grandpa is one of the ministers. I now go to a much more liberal mennonite church. |
|
|
|
|
Beckah
Posts:903
|
| 02/04/2010 12:42 PM |
|
sweet! so if ur mennonite you can have a computer? lol i didnt think u could though...
|
|
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
|
|
Grant I.
Posts:184
|
| 02/04/2010 6:31 PM |
|
| Sure ya can! BUT, there are some churches that don't allow, internet, and many other restrictions. As a matter of fact, my oldest brother works as a software developer, alongside at least 3 amish brothers, all of which are now mennonite. 2 of them come to my church, and the other is in Bangladesh programming with natives there. All 3 worked as very accomplished software developers while still amish, internet and all. That made me smile. LOL There are so many variations between churches, mennonite, amish, beachy, etc. that it's not even funny. My church, (BMA) basically doesn't have "church standards" other than commands from the bible, which I believe is the way it should be. Teach biblical principles, and leave it up to the individual to make a personal decision or commitment. I think that way too many people follow all the right rules for their ultra-conservative church in public, and use that to cover up their sins in private. For instance...the "good amishman" who raped at least 3 of his daughters, one of which I have a huge crush on. They are no longer amish. Don't get me started...Oops, already did. LOL |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 02/04/2010 6:34 PM |
|
For instance...the "good amishman" who raped at least 3 of his daughters, one of which I have a huge crush on. They are no longer amish. Don't get me started...Oops, already did. LOL
Dude... That sucks. A lot. This may or may not be moral, but I'd have put him in the hospital. Nothing gets me as angry as that does. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
|