Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 11/13/2010 2:41 AM |
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To all the guys out there who are single I have something to
say. Never ever tell a girl you like her if you are attracted to her and are starting to know her. Never
ever. You want to know why? Here's the reason why.
Let us pretend you have inherited a luxury sports car from one of your beloved
family members. The manufacturer does not produce parts for the car anymore.
This makes your car not only rare but very high in value. Now lets say a
"stranger" comes up to you and directly tells you "I want to
have your car forever. May I drive it as long as I want to." What would
your first impression be? Of course any sane person would say no. But this stranger
is a nice person. Very well dressed and very polite. You don't want to say no without sounding mean. You also don't want to hurt their feelings because
they were very nice to you. So you politely make up an excuse to put them down gently. You say
" This car belongs to my family so I can't let you drive it.". You want to keep it safe from any harm. You don't know who this person is. How do you know they won't crash upon driving it out of the driveway. Do you guys see where I'm going with
this?
A girl needs to trust that a guy will take of her heart . By telling a girl you
like you her, you are saying that you "don't care" about getting to
know her. You are saying that you "don't care" if her heart gets
smashed. Now of course you're not actually saying that. But that's what she's thinking. However due to the fact
that she doesn't know you well, I hate to be mean, but what makes you think
she'll give her heart away if she doesn't know you. A girl's heart is special.
It has a high value. It has parts of it that cannot be repaired except by God's
Love. You can't just ask for it, you have to earn it.
Now the question would be, how does a guy go about earning her trust if he's
attracted to her. Simple, start off being friends. Don't try to get with her
the moment you meet her .The moment a girl realizes you're trying to get with her, she'll look the other way. Things happen to you when you least expect them to. You must let these things happen by themselves. Put the action forward but take things slow. You must remember that God is in control  . You can't control everything. Things take time. Show her you're attracted to her by doing simple things for her. Show her you care. Ask her how her day was. (Believe it or not this will make a girl's day.) Tell her hair looks beautiful. Tell her how nice she is. Do it in person. And who cares if you're just friends with this particular girl. Truth be told, she's not the only girl out there. There are so many different girls out there. Don't just get hung up on one girl. She's nothing special. Not to sound mean again, but she's not worth killing yourself over. If you're dating though, be 100% committed.
If your single, have the confidence to meet many different girls. Approach them and initiate simple conversations. In truth, it's actually much more fun being just friends. It's also much more rewarding. I would go as far as to say that girls make the best of friends. You can talk to them about almost anything and they'll be there to listen. (But let them do most of the talking, its easier and its also polite.) You'll discover so much more about girls than you may have thought. Ask her to hang out with you one day. Ask her as a friend and don't be desperate for love. Let the girl decide whether or not she'll like you. I strongly suggest reading foryoungmenonly chapters 3& 5. All in all just have fun. Don't be so down right serious about getting yourself a girlfriend. Just let things happen naturally. There is no need to rush things or force things. Just take things slow. A girl needs to have a say in this too you know. Besides God is with you how can you go wrong.. Follow your dreams and always be thankful to God.
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 11/13/2010 12:58 PM |
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[By telling a girl you like you her, you are saying that you "don't care" about getting to know her. You are saying that you "don't care" if her heart gets smashed. Now of course you're not actually saying that. But that's what she's thinking.]
Wait a minute!!!!! That is not necessarily true! It is more along the lines of, "You haven't taken the time to get to know me; what am I supposed to think? Are you attracted to my character or my looks? Did I say something? Did I do something? Have you heard good things about me from family/friends, or are you desiring me simply because of physical appearance? How do I know you're not just lusting after me because you think I look nice?
I say this from experience; A guy I barely know just asked me to be his gf... this week. (Btw, I told him 'no'.)
[I would go as far as to say that girls make the best of friends. You can talk to them about almost anything and they'll be there to listen. (But let them do most of the talking, its easier and its also polite.)]
Another misconception: Many girls are MEAN and will lead you on just because they like having your attention. Girls have a tendency to gossip and 'talk smack behind your back'. I'm not saying that all girls do, because many of us do care about you, but you REALLY, REALLY need to be careful! No, it's not polite to let the girl do all the talking... No matter how much she likes to talk, there's gotta be a reason she wants to talk to you (whether it's just as a friend or because she likes you) and she wants you to talk too!
Cerno, I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I don't mean to offend, but please, please be more careful when making generalized statements about girls. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 11/13/2010 2:38 PM |
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Trust me you don't sound harsh at all. =) I actually welcome what you just said. I'm no girl so i don't know everything there is to know about girls. I really can't say I know everything. I can only go on what I believe and have applied to my own life.
[By telling a girl you like you her, you are saying that you "don't care" about getting to know her. You are saying that you "don't care" if her heart gets smashed. Now of course you're not actually saying that. But that's what she's thinking.]
I apologize for the way it sounded. when i said that I wanted the guys to take a girl's heart into consideration. I think I went overboard on that one though, sorry Darcie. I'll be careful next time.
[I would go as far as to say that girls make the best of friends. You can talk to them about almost anything and they'll be there to listen. (But let them do most of the talking, its easier and its also polite.)]
When I said to let girls do most of the talking, i mean that a guy should listen more on what she has to say. In that way he learns more about her. He learns about who she is a person. Not just a person who has good looks. There is so much more to a girl than just her looks. And a guy should talk as well don't get me wrong. Its just as rude to say nothing at all. And when i said that it's easier, i mean that a guy shouldn't have to stress out on what he is going to say next. Trust me a a lot of guys do this. Guys may look tough on the outside but truthfully they're afraid out there minds. A guy just needs to have the confidence to be himself when he is around the girl he likes.
I don't believe girls are heartless at all. In fact I agree with you 100% on that fact. To be honest my advice is coming from many different girls themselves and experiences I had actually. If I need advice on girls, I go to girls for advice. My main point is for guys to take things slow and not rush into dating. Get to know a girl for who she is. Have fun and let things happen naturally. Apologies if this offended you in any way again. |
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humandude15
Posts:84
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| 11/14/2010 9:48 PM |
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| I just started highschool and there are more than one hot girls in my grade, but I'm trying to focus on my grades but I sometimes feel attracted to a few of them. Any advice? |
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Going through this life looking for Angels
People passing by, looking for Angels. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 11/15/2010 1:38 AM |
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| Well first and foremost you must recognize what is most important to you. As for dating I would say that its okay to date but don't let it distract you too much. Don't get into anything serious that will stress you out from what needs to be done. |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 11/16/2010 7:23 PM |
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@Cerno4500: No offense taken  |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/21/2010 1:56 PM |
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| I think what you said was really good!! Thanks for posting it! A lot of guys come to me for advice and you worded perfectly what I have been trying to tell a friend but not finding words to say. I'm telling him to come on and read it You're making me very thankful to have found such a wonderful man as my Boyfriend !! |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/21/2010 2:23 PM |
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| and Humandude...I saw one of your posts on another thread. Being attracted to hot girls will be something you get to deal with for the rest of your life (unless you go gay). There is nothing wrong with being attracted to a good looking girl, or a girl being attracted to a good looking guy. It's what you do with the attraction. If you fantasize, or look at their bodies, and take that to all the places it shouldn't, that's when the attraction is wrong. Look at a girls Character! I heard once (and had to laugh) that if you marry someone for their looks, wait till they have a kid and add a few pounds, you'll be stuck with an ugly crank! But if you marry someone for their character you'll have a sweet spouse your whole life. You're too young to get married but not to young to know what kind of girl to be looking for. As for now, just let your attraction to these girls go, it's ok to make friends with them, but don't do it for their looks! Look for a girl who is fun, sweet, and not more concerned with her looks than about her character! |
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humandude15
Posts:84
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| 11/21/2010 11:28 PM |
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Thanks and I will always like girls. But yeah I have heard that saying too but i have always liked girls for their character and their looks but mostly their character. I have become more assoiciated with girls since I moved from west texas to east texas. I had my first major crush in the town I was in last.It did kind of hurt leaving her because I really liked her and I am pretty sure she liked me. If we had stayed there longer I probably would have dated her. Oh well that's what happens when you're a preacher's son. Constant moving.
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Going through this life looking for Angels
People passing by, looking for Angels. |
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cassie14
Posts:68
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| 11/22/2010 3:04 PM |
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| @Cerno4500 you said it really well actually i think you did great like iv only had 2 bfs n they both crushed my heart n dated me n totally led me on it pretty much sucked! so i joke round sayin im gona become a nun lol but seriously you did really good on that! |
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*judge no one* |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 11/25/2010 4:38 PM |
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| thank you cassie. it means a lot. lol |
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valleygirl
Posts:1
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| 11/30/2010 4:43 PM |
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Okay I think that if a guy likes a girl that he SHOULD tell her. If she likes him she's probably waiting for him to say somrthing so she'll know he likes her too. If she doesn't like him then oh well. No matter how much you talk to her and get to know her she probably still won't like you...anymore than as a friend I mean. But if you wait too long to tell her then she'll probably get tired of waiting and find someone else. Not that you guys couldn't still be friends but that's probably all you'd ever be.
I'm not saying that if u see a random girl that you are attracted to that you should go up and tell her. But if you've been talking to a girl for a while or even just a little bit and you think there could be something between the two of you then you should tell her. If nothing happens then nothing happens it's not that big of a deal right?? There are lots of other girls. At least then you would know so you wouldn't be wasting your time trying to impress a girl that's just not interested. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/01/2010 1:06 AM |
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| I think if a guy likes a girl he should ask her to hang out with her one day. And probably a couple times after that. Doing things that bring excitement and fun between the two of them (nothing inappropriate of course). Get to know who she is. I don't think he should start off telling her he likes her though if he does. It really only makes things awkward between them if they are just friends. I've seen it happened and experienced it. I mean there are some exceptions as with any with anything. But from what i learned, a guy who likes a girl for a little while should show it gradually and in little ways. Not too much that he scares her off. He should take time but still pursue her none the less. Many reasons why guys never get "the girl" is because their either too passive or rush into things too quickly. ( I should mention that that my first post was directed towards guys who have their eye on a particular girl and in no way in states that i know everything.) I do agree with you on the fact a guy shouldn't wait too long. Its better to do something then nothing at all. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 12/01/2010 8:26 AM |
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| I think, Cerno, you have it right =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Amelia
Posts:25
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| 12/01/2010 11:02 AM |
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| Yep, I agree with Adelynn... you're spot on Cerno! My motto is to always, always be friends with a guy first. You have that foundation built, and then you can go from there. |
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Beauty is not caused. It is.
~Emily Dickinson |
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humandude15
Posts:84
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| 12/07/2010 8:44 PM |
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| I have become friends with girls pretty easy where I am now. Where I was last time I wasn't real good friends with too many people. |
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Going through this life looking for Angels
People passing by, looking for Angels. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/09/2010 1:21 PM |
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| That's great man. Yea being friends with a girl first is much better. That way you guys would be able to get to know each other well. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/13/2010 11:01 PM |
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| I know this post has been read by a lot of people, guys especially, so I wondering if any of the girls reading this would be so kind if they can post something about how important its for a guy to be confident and being themselves. thanks lol |
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~*CJ*~
Posts:8
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| 12/20/2010 10:47 PM |
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ok..girl here just to comment on Cerno4500's last post...being themselves is like really important! I hate when a guy puts on to impress the girls. Cuz alot of times girls can see right thru it and it's a turn off. As for being confident..that's definately something we like, but dont get so confident you're like cocky..Those kinda guys can get really annoying! lol. So ya..when we meet a guy who is confident enough to be himself and not always be worrying if he should change something or other so the girls or whoever will like him better...that's just really cool(: |
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mac
Posts:26
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| 12/21/2010 5:49 PM |
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cerno 4500
I'm have i have to disagree with everything your saying.... i really don't think you can say what a women is thinking... so maybe you shouldn't make such statements as if they were facts.
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