David
Posts:57
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| 11/01/2010 11:37 PM |
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| there is this girl right? And i have a major crush on her, and she knows it. But she treats me like her bestfriend and i have to sit there and watch her go out with jerk after jerk. What should i do? |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 11/01/2010 11:41 PM |
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| Have you tried talking to her about it? |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/02/2010 12:02 AM |
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| of course, but i am so confussed she sends me mixed messages. First she says she loves me as a friend then she kisses me "and not the friend type of kiss" its so weird. |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:176
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| 11/02/2010 2:18 PM |
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Tell her exactly what you told us! Add or subtract as you will. Show her you're different than all the guys she's dated before. She's probably scared that if she goes out with you, you'll be like all the others. Show her you're worth the risk! And if the time is right, try kissing her!  I mean it! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Amelia
Posts:25
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| 11/03/2010 12:05 AM |
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I'm going to have to disagree with Lucky on one thing. DON'T try kissing her until you know where she stands with that. Personally, I have made the decision to not kiss until I'm standing at the alter. I would be very very offended and turned off if a guy all of a sudden swooped in and stole a kiss with I wasn't prepared or wanting one! I just needed to throw that out there.
However, since she kissed you "not the friend type of kiss"... it's hard to tell! O_O |
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Beauty is not caused. It is.
~Emily Dickinson |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/03/2010 8:27 AM |
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| thats not it in the kisses we kinda moved on to rubbing arms and hips and stuff like that. but no private area's. I aint that type of guy. Yet despite my best efforts she still won't date me. |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 11/03/2010 2:32 PM |
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Ok.. well, Maybe you just keep telling her how you feel(dont be a pest though) about this whole thing. let her know, when shes ready to date you, that she will let you know. this is kinda strange, but ask her how she feels about the whole dating/kissing thing. she could be testing you on how true, kind, loving, ect. you really are. Like getting a feel for if you are going to be like the other guys she has dated. I personally am not going to kiss a guy untill my wedding day. so maybe take the kissing thing slow and steady unless you both think your ready. kinda get what i mean?? Hope it helps. |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 11/03/2010 2:39 PM |
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Oh and another thing... I personally wouldnt be rubbing her if your not dating. because one can lead to another. not saying it will or wont. but just saying to watch out, for her sake and yours. please dont take offence to this, im just putting it out there for you to think about.
or am i wong in saying this?? 
P.S. how old are you both? just wondering. u dont have to answer if u dont want too. |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/04/2010 3:19 AM |
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| my god this chick is starting to drive me nuts. She says she loves me as a best friend, yet tonight we were dancing and then she asked to start slow dancing, she even moved close to me. I can't read her in the least. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 11/04/2010 3:28 AM |
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maybe be straight up and tell her "look, you know where I stand with you, but if you're just pulling me along for the ride, and nothing's gonna come of it, i'd rather move on and find someone who will actually care about how I see the relationship and feels the same way" It's not fair on you for her to lead you on especially if she's intent on not having a relationship and i think she needs to be told she can't play with you.
Also maybe hold yourself back for a while, but a decent amount of time, to see if she's being genuine or not... and I mean complete withdrawl... idk what does everyone else think? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/04/2010 7:45 AM |
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| now don't get me wrong this girl is really nice. But if i withdraw completely she will go to another guy. One time i almost had her, but then i leave her alone for a day and she is bac with one of her ex's (who is a complete jerk). Girls give me a headache |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 11/04/2010 10:31 AM |
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I would have to agree with JoJo, You need to tell her that all the fun and games are over, and that she cant and wont mess with your feelings. it might sound a bit harsh but she shouldnt be playing you like relationships are a game. She needs to get a hold of reality and deal with it, not be some wishy-washy-girl with a string of ex's that she cant decide to stay comited to 1 guy. Now when you tell her be gentle and calefull. dont be blunt, it could hurt her. if i sounded mean and harsh im sorry. Anyways i will be praying for you.
Yeh us girls can be confuzing, so i can see how you would get a headache. haha 
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:176
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| 11/04/2010 3:25 PM |
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Beckah and Jo hit it on the head. Call her out on what she's doing. Obviously don't be a jerk about it, but tell her you need to know one way or another.
Good luck! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 11/05/2010 4:03 AM |
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basically, if a girl is pretty interested in you, genuinely, she won't be jumping to the next guy when you leave her alone for a day... seriously!! I'd never do that to a guy I had seriously wanted a relationship with... when someone really likes someone, they want the best for the other and would run through the rain at 3 am just to give you a shoulder to cry on. If she's jumping around so fast, mostlikely you're just her "guy i hang with when there's no one else around" or her "I'm with this guy as long as he caters to my every need, but when he's not around I can go off with whoever i feel like"
seriously, I hate being this depresing, but i've been ion your shoes, and seriously, it's not worth the heartache! I thought I'd never move on from my (sorta) ex who I had really wanted to marry, but now I met this other guy who is even more amazing, and I'm glad I chose to cut things off completely! 
If you wanna discuss anything feel free to either on here or email cuz I totally relate to whats happening |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 11/05/2010 4:57 PM |
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I obviously don't know you or this girl, but it sounds to me like she's a bit too flighty. moving around from guy to guy just looking for something new. I would totally go with JoJo and Beckah's advice! Let her know (kindly and compassionately) that you're not something that she can toy with whenever she wants!
But take note, this could be part of something else! Do you know if she has a good relationship with her dad. Because if not, she is probably looking for a "dad" figure in her life, and she's not going to get it this way. |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 11/05/2010 5:58 PM |
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| Yeh, the best you could do is tell her kind and gentle way, and hope she understands.
Liz, i have read something on the dating for a "dad". it might sound weird but isnt it where the girl has a bad relationship with her dad(i.e. divorced parents, abusive dad, or doesnt have one)
and because of it she feels the emptyness and looks for a guy thats has the personallity of a or her dad. then the girl will go from differant guys just to try to fill her emptyness.most of the time she never gets what she is looking for. its a sad thing. but anyways, Good Luck! |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 11/05/2010 6:51 PM |
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yeah be gentle, but stand your ground, you don't wanna be walked over, but dont jump down her throat. If it is the "dad" issue or w/e i don't think it's something you yourself could help with, and she'll need counselling etc. but yeah, stand your ground, but also try to find out why she does this, if it's possible, without seeming like you'll let her push you around. people who have emotional problems etc (not saying she has or anything, I dont know her, so I dont know exactly whats going on inside her.) are a big thing to get involved in... trust me, been there, done that, almost got depressed because of it, I started spiralling down... you dont wanna go there.
so besides the doom and gloom, who knows, she might (and it's only a slight chance) actually have a legit reason/ explanation. every scenario is different... so id see observe how she reacts to things before confrounting her, if she jumps around again (btw lay off the "acting like you're dating, but you're not" (some people call this best friends with benefits) for a good while) then ask her about it, while at the same time letting her know you're not her play thing.
idk hope that made sense... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/06/2010 8:50 PM |
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| you guys could be right, I know her dad is getting divorced a second time. But she comes to me with problems that i help her short out. And i really don't want to hurt her. |
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Jessica
Posts:10
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| 11/07/2010 6:01 PM |
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I think she is just messing with your feelings...It sounds to me like she is playing with your heart...
Please don't get offended by this, but I think if she really like you she wouldn't be going back and forth with you and other guys...If she liked you she wouldn't be playing with your emotions and your heart. Don't let her take advantage of you and have you on the side. She doesn't seem like she is looking for a serious relationship....
I hope all goes well... |
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David
Posts:57
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| 11/10/2010 7:51 AM |
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| guys.............I got her . she come out and told me she loved me, now we are happily together. |
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