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Crazy Person
Posts:56
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| 08/14/2010 6:35 AM |
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I know cheesy title :p
Anyway, I like this guy, and this is going to be hard to talk about becuase someone I know in Rl is on here and he will know who it is I am talking about. He knows who I am talking about more than he would think.
So he and I talk all the time and he is REALLY nice and my mom likes him, (sometimes I think more than me :p) and he is just a great guy. I want him to know, but, like anyone, I am scared he wont like me, and again cheesy, I know. I would love to tell you more but I dont want the person I know on here to know who it is. I'm stuck 
Help??? |
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You can't stay happy forever, can you?
Wild Spirit |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/18/2010 4:18 AM |
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seriously, been there, done that. Told a guy I liked him, got a friend to tell a guy I liked him... AKWARD when they wont talk to you and wont even acknowledge you...
but really, a girl starting a relationship, is like her basically taking the man's role and being the decision maker, the boss etc. and most of the time when relationships start like this, they dont work out in the long run.
Chad Eastham wrote a book called "The Truth About Guys" and he says "As much as guys want to act cinfidently, it takes alot of nerve to ask a girl out. So let us do the work We're building up our confidence muscle. It's really important that we do this. It's not a good idea to keep guys from building the muscles that we will need all our lives anyway. It also lets you know that we're interested in you and that we're willing to stick our necks out to hear your answer of yes or no. If there are any such things as balance and power, making the decision of saying yes or no puts the power right back in your hands anyway."
Something to think abouts  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 08/21/2010 12:38 AM |
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Guys send out signals, just like girls. Does he tend to act nervously around you? He have trouble with eye contact with you? Tend to ramble or stumble over his words when you ask him something? Smiling alot around you? It's not an exclusive list mind you, but those are the big signals we guys send out. Get a read on your friend. See if he acts differently around you than around other (friends, family, other girls).
If he does, you can proceed from there. If he's shy, you might have to make it glaringly obvious to him, but that's neither here nor there! 
If not, he may just not be interested.
Hope that helps!! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 08/21/2010 7:25 AM |
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| I have a question, what are the signals when a guy is interested in starting a relationship, but he isn't a flirt (I'm trying to figure out if a guy friend and I are on the same page, which would be "friend" in my opinion)? Do guys routinely ask about a girl's dad, and suddenly not go away when there is a guy who is (very obviously) interested around? (I realize this is an inconclusive list...) What should I do to make it clear I want his friendship, but nothing more, in these situations? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 08/22/2010 1:03 AM |
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Simple, everything I mentioned above. It's not a question of being a flirt, guys just can't help it. If we've got serious feeling for someone, it's hard to hide!
To answer your questions, not many guys I know ask about girls parents, but without knowing the context or how close you guys are that could fall either way. Part 2 is more interesting. He could be scoping out competition or establishing himself in a way to scare the other guy off.
Way to address the "friend zone" issue: Mention something along the lines of "I really appreciate our friendship and I wouldn't want anything to change that." Just find a place in a conversation that it would fit naturally into. If he was really interested in you, he'll probably look disappointed and hurt, but it'll help in the long run!
Hope that helps! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/22/2010 7:12 AM |
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yeah I agree. I've said to guys "I value your friendship and couldn't ask for a better friend" stressing "friend" lol.
idk I had guys in my class always ask me about my dad, but he was their auto teacher haha, so idk if it was just to be silly, but idk i just ignored it. another guy I was interested in, always asked about my dad's car... haha. and a family friend guy, who i used to like, always asks about my dad... i just take it as general interest unless he states otherwise.  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 08/22/2010 12:16 PM |
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| He's met my dad maybe three times, and my dad isn't a talker so it's just been around a campfire or briefly at church (you know, hi, how are you doing, I'm doing well, how are you? I'm doing well...). We were talking about books (he makes fun of me for not liking classic books) and he asked, "Does your dad read much?" It seemed totally random, but who knows, maybe there was something that made him think of it. Earlier, another guy had been sitting with me and when he got up, my friend sat down almost immediately where the guy had been and he looked anxious (but not in a general earth-shattering way). I wasn't sure what to do at all =/ |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 08/23/2010 1:55 AM |
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| You don't like classics?! "Frankenstein" is one of my favorites! Anywho, sounds like he was worried the guy made an impression. |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 10/25/2010 2:43 PM |
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I know, I know ;-) I do like Northanger Abbey... but that is the only Austen I like!! I hated The Scarlet Letter so much I wanted to cry, not because of the story but because I had to read it =D
It doesn't seem like all the guys who have been interested in me have been especially nervous. Most of them were more than happy to make eye contact, run their hands through their hair (I call it preening, just not to their face hahaha!!), and many of them seemed pretty comfortable; but maybe that is because I've taught myself to be comfortable because I hate nervous conversations! Perhaps because I don't feel nervous, I'm projecting that onto them a little, at least enough that I don't notice their nerves unless it's really really obvious (yeah, sometimes it is, but that can be cute). hmmmm I'm rambling my thoughts out loud... haha |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/03/2010 11:57 AM |
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So I need some feedback. For some reason I have a very hard time stepping back from my own situation to see what is going on and what to do next.
So there's this guy.... (couldn't help it) no seriously, there is a guy who I see regularly and I think we're friends, but I want to know him better. I heard from someone who didn't even know that I know him that he's "taking a break" from his gf, but I don't have any idea what that means. She was talking to my friend, and I didn't stay to hear the rest. I've never heard him mention her, ever, even by name and not as "my gf." However I don't want to be too forward/desperate-sounding/be "the other girl" who stole her bf. I'm actually extremely confused about how he sees me to begin with (he makes an effort to come over and talk to me, but only once he's comfortable, and then suddenly there will be a point where he just shuts off, and then he makes an excuse to leave), but I'd like to be friends at least. Ideas? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/03/2010 1:48 PM |
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| and it's an issue because for some reason I can't stop worrying about it- I shouldn't be focusing on this, it's not that big a deal, so why am I making it a big deal, why can't I just keep on with my life and if something happens it does otherwise it doesn't matter, why am I still thinking about it?? It just keeps going in circles. Not even him, just the whole situation. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 11/04/2010 3:35 AM |
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hmmm i have warning signals flaring up... I was totally there where you are 2 years ago... worst time of my life.
um, sometimes we meet someone, or someone we knew suddenly hits our radar, and we just cant stop thinking about it. and in that frame of mind, our brain gets clouded... i donno I'd say be weary, and try not to be around him every chance you get, because you might develope a heart tie, and if nothing comes of it (not that it couldn't happen) it will be alot harder to move on. but does anyone else have any ideas? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 11/04/2010 3:19 PM |
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"Taking a break" implies a very open-ended relationship. The way I interpreted it, they're not dating currently but could get back together. Then again, they could each find someone else. Clear, eh?
The way this guy acted around you has me confused. Is he the nervous type, and just shuts down out of lack of confidence, or is it just like a snap of the fingers? Either way, I'd say keep one eye open.
I'd say you're still thinking about it because you've already developed, as Jo put it, a "heart tie." The simple fact you're still thinking about it makes me believe that. People in general don't dwell on thoughts (and people, places, etc.) that don't interest them. Someone once told me that the one in control of any relationship is the person who has the least emotional investment. With that in mind, if you wanna get to know the guy better, just take a deep breath, relax and don't overthink it. Talk to him, see if he shows any cues that he's interested and go from there. I might add try and back up emotionally before you do so.
Hope that helps somewhat!! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/08/2010 11:10 AM |
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clear, yeah- as mud =P
haha thanks guys. My problem, I finally figured out, is that, though I was interested in him and have got over that, he is still part of my life and I still want him to be. I felt guilty that something would remind me of him, or I would wonder if I'd run into him, because I "shouldn't let guys take over my thoughts." I think about my gfs and wonder if I'll see them, as well, but that doesn't mean I'm "interested." But I had to over-think it and apply something (from an author who's advice I really respect and can usually use) to something that it really didn't apply to, which really only created the problem.
so thank you for your rational advice, just playing things out without getting emotionally involved before it's safe is definitely the best way to go =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/08/2010 4:39 PM |
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| hey Lucky could you elaborate a little on what it would mean if he just shut off at the snap of the fingers? Just curious =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 11/08/2010 4:42 PM |
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| Adelynn, I think he means he wants to know if the guy gets quiet because he is nervous, or if it's for seemingly no reason. |
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