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derek11
Posts:3
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| 07/28/2010 6:54 AM |
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| let me start off by giving some info about me, im a soldier who is currently stationed overseas, recently, i got with a girl who i went to high school with back in april. we were so great together, the relationship lasted four months. and on our first month of being together, she told me that she had signed up for active duty military, i told her i would support her 100%. well this july, the fourth month, she broke up with me without warning. i was crushed. but she said that she wanted to be friends. i was ok with it. so time went on, and for about two weeks we didnt talk, mainly cuz im busy doing what i need to do to survive over here. well on the beginning of the third week, i got a message on facebook saying, "derek i made a mistake, i may have freaked out, but im so sorry for treating you the way i did, and i want to tell you im so sorry." well i talked to her for awhile that day, and we got back together. and one of the things she said was i hope you are still serious about seeing me on your two week leave. and i told her of course, it wouldnt be the same not seeing her. well after that convo, i started thinking about things, and i told her how i felt, i felt like i needed to guard myself from getting hurt again, and that i want to trust her 100% and that i need her to want this, and for her to not do this again, cuz if she does, its all over. well since then, she wont talk to me... did i something wrong? is there any way to get her to talk to me again? |
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~NEW ME
Posts:33
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| 08/01/2010 6:32 PM |
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ok i am a girl an personally i think she should have not done you that way. I kno from personal experiences that i do not like wen someone breaks up with me then wants to get bac together jus to brake my heart again. I respect and fully understand were your coming from with the whole gaurd your self from being hurt again. I think you made a great decision. I Would want it to be a two way relationship not jus a one way you kno. well hope this helps.  |
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Clockwork
Posts:0
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| 08/01/2010 7:58 PM |
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Two things bro, (1) First time she broke up with you might have been a defense mechanism. Basically she might have been worried you would find someone while overseas or something. That could explain why she wanted to be friends still. Maybe after she was sure you wanted only her she decided she made a mistake. Some girls have a bad history of breakups and heartbreaks, she might have been trying to make sure you wern't just another guy, another relationship, another breakup, and such. (2) Maybe she has insecurities (such as baggage from old relationships) and she was offended at the fact that you felt protective of yourself when she was the one who felt vunerable. Or maybe she felt that by you playing safe after the break up it was some sort of way of saying "your on thin ice now, one mess up and we're done". Communication issues happen in pretty much every relationship, and I think if you try talking to her again and making sure she understands you want to be with her, but you are just trying not to get too caught up in your feelings and end up heartbroken, she will be understanding (providing she is a reasonable woman). Remember 4 months is short for a mature relationship relatively speaking so you both might have slight insecurities or doubts at this time while you are getting to know each other. But this is fine, it is natural, it is each of you simply putting your heartbreak defense mchanism into practice. There could be a million reasons why she hasn't spoke to you, but I guess until she does you will never know why unless you make a move bro. Good luck and God bless. Mail her chocolate or somethin'... |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 08/02/2010 12:20 AM |
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I didn't really have time to read all the posts...
I think it would be a good idea to see her again and if you still want things to work. And keep your heart guarded.I broke up with my 1st BF and then really regretted it and went back to his parents and him and said give me a 2nd chance. He took me back but said he was really going to keep his heart guarded that time so he wouldn't get so hurt. I'm glad he did cuz I broke up with him a month later but I'm glad I did, there was a better man out there for me
be sure she didn't break up with someone else and isn't using you as a 'rebound'. And not being around the guy you like and only seeing each other now and then is REALLY hard and maybe she didn't think she could stand it. |
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