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Clockwork
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| 07/26/2010 4:23 PM |
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| Hey, I have been on the site before, i have also read the book "FYMO". Both have been helpful in increasing my understanding of how girls think, but neither seem to really help when it comes to actual interaction with females. I have asked God to bless me with someone who is right for me for various reasons, reasons such as wanting to be familiar around the "alien gender" and being able to read into females' body language. I thought all my reasons for wanting a girlfriend were, well... valid I guess if you want to call it that. Of course the main was to be in such a tight relationship that marriage in the future would not be far fetched. I still believe I have good reasons for wanting a girlfriend. If any of you reading this want me to list them and elaborate for better understanding I'd be happy to. But the big thing in me writing all this is I can't seem to find the right person, or anyone for that matter. I have tried many different people and been myself as much as possible, but it seems I have no luck with anyone. I am not sure if it is my personality or my outer appearance but either way if one is the case then I guess I'm screwed since theres no way I am changing my God-given body for anyone lol. to help any of you reading better understand my position I'll explain in the listings below.
My Personality: I like to joke around and have fun a lot. I might overdue it sometimes but generally when it's time to be serious I am serious. I actually like science; things like engineering and astronomy. In saying that I will admit I am not a "bad boy". Thats just never been me. I try to treat females like they deserve to be treated as best I can (i.e. I won't treat some **** like Queen Elizabeth, but doesn't mean I am gonna bad mouth her or not open doors for her). I enjoy nature from indoors, lol definately not an outdoors man. I like classical music, but I also like rap and hip hop. I like sports mainly football.
Physical Appearance: Well I'm no Will Smith or Denzel Washington (I use them because, well, I'm black lol) but I do use good hygene and I try to make myself as presentable as possible. Not saying I wear a Tux everywhere I go, lol but I take pride in who God made me to be. You'll see what I mean if you check out my facebook or my avatar.
So that's basically it about me. Those are pretty much my main aspects that are really noticeable. I suppose this question is more directed to females but guys (no homo) i wouldn't mind feedback from you either if you will. With my physical and personality aspects what do you all think? Is that the formula for anti-female-relationships? lol I am not sure but I know I am 17 years old and still have yet to have a relationship with any substance to it. I want complete honesty and flaming or criticism is always welcome in my posts lol.
Sorry about this extensive post, I tried to capture everything about myself and my point as best as possible without writing a whole dissertation... lol
Thanks-
Khareem |
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Clockwork
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| 07/26/2010 4:26 PM |
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| Sorry about this being all sloppy and jammed together. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/27/2010 7:47 AM |
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Hey and welcome =]
You seem like a nice guy, probably entertaining too, which is always fun ;-] I have a question- is one of the reasons you want a gf because you think God wants you to have one? Or because you want that type of relationship?
See I don't believe in "finding" the right one, I believe that God brings them into our lives at the right time in the right capacity. God made you who you are, and like you said, you shouldn't change (within reasonable boundaries- I actually just asked about this on my blog, but there are some things that are worth changing, like maybe listening to a type of music you've never listened to or something)! Which means that, if God has a woman out there for you, she is out there, somewhere, right now. What do you hope she is doing? What do you think she hopes you are doing while you are waiting?
One of my co-workers was telling me a story, and at one point it went back to "when [my husband] was living with his then-girlfriend" a few years ago- how awkward is that???? Obviously that is on the extreme side, but still... kind of made me think about how I let some guys flirt with me and stuff, how is that for commitment to my future husband (should God bring me one!)? Plus it's worse if I know him now and he's watching us... ugh |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Clockwork
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| 07/27/2010 11:19 AM |
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Well I see what you're saying Adelynn, thing is I know I personally want a monogamous relationship. Thing is, I believe God wants me to have one too. I say this because obviously we are only to have one spouse, and also I have a strong desire for a relationship. I asked my Bible teacher about this similar discussion, I also asked her about the Creation Mandate. Both answers I received from her essentially meant God will give those who will marry a desire for marriage. Those who want to remain single (I say single for lack of better words) typically do not have the desire for marriage or a relationship that passes beyond the boundaries of "just friends". So furthermore my conclusion was and still is, I personally want to be involved in a relationship with someone, and I believe it is not against God's will for me to be involved with anyone at all. I hope you understand, I am having a bit of trouble adequately articulating my feelings and point through this thread .
As far as finding someone and being given someone, I think it goes both ways. Either I find her or she finds me. One person will have to make the move and step out of their comfort zone. Of course God may direct two people towards each other, but someone will inevitably be forced to approach the other. God is our great Father, but he's not necessarily the datemaster or hitch if you know what i mean. We all have to put in some work.
And I would like to add one last thing. I read a post by some one named Mr. Audacious. I don't know where he has gone too, but he made some very valid points. I definately do not agree 100% with him, but overall I saw a lot of critical elements that many teen guys of my age and older do not posess. I think most people who replied so ferociously to his post were either not open minded or simply not being rational. But I am not against nor for him, just wanted to point that out. And again I bring him up only because his posts caught my eye and simply made sense to me. If there are others who feel the same than please do reply. Maybe you can explain which elements are needed to counteract those aspects of one's self that are disadvantageous in the field of obtaining the love from a female God has provided for you... |
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Clockwork
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| 07/27/2010 11:40 AM |
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| And thanks for your feedback Adelynn its encouraging when you get replies =) |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/27/2010 4:08 PM |
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I agree with Adelynn...you are a pretty interesting guy
And yeah, God will bring someone to you,you don't always have to find them. The two guys I "found" and dated were totally not God's idea of who was for me. It took me awhile to realize I have to give up and let God do the choosing...and He brought someone from 1500 miles away!! A long story I won't get into now, but God can do some pretty crazy things!!! True God isn't the 'datemaster' but He will bring several people through your life that are in different ways compatible to you and then you choose which one it will be..or they will 
I think you're pretty right about those who have the deep desire to be married usually do and those that are not so much usually are quite content being single (hi adelynn.hehe) My one friend turned 30 this year and for the first time in her life she is dating. And she has wanted a family and to be married all her life! You're 17, imagine waiting till you're 30.
You sound like a pretty cool guy and know what you are all about! I have to say wait..the girl God has for you might not even be in your school, or even your state...if 7 months ago someone told me i was going to meet a guy hundreds of miles away (ok well we haven't actually met yet) I would have said HA jerks!!
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Clockwork
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| 07/27/2010 4:40 PM |
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| I see where you're coming from clare. Though I hope I don't become the 30 year old virgin XD. I appreciate the feedback. I suppose waiting is always a feasible solution, however I have indeed been waiting what seems to be half an eternity to me considering I noticed the opposite sex as young as 5 years old =/. I suppose the whole idea of marriage before sex and men must be committed to their wives my parents tried to inculcate in me at a very young age has had greater an effect than they realize. But, eh either way waiting even another year seems like a bit of torture, not saying it couldn't be done. I have actually tried 2 long distance relationships before, neither worked out. Not that I'm trying to imply anything, it just wasn't for me. I seemed and felt pretty desolate for a while and I know I should do the christian thing and pray about it more, it's just sometimes who want manifestation immediately, you know? And again I guess that's just me being influenced once again by the hasty American life lol. Good thing I live in Germany now =P. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/28/2010 8:35 AM |
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Yeah, someone will have to take the first step and ask the other out, but if God is really behind it and you're following His lead (i.e. not rushing it) He will make it all work out. He can make 7 loaves of bread feed thousands and make water come from rocks, He can direct a relationship and keep someone interested if they are supposed to be =]
Then I guess I'm close-minded, thanks for pointing it out, because I definitely replied with much disagreement. But you know, just because we don't agree with something doesn't mean I'm close-minded, did you think of that? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Clockwork
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| 07/28/2010 6:28 PM |
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| I assume you're referring to my bringing up Mr A's post. I did not mean to point you out, i said those who replied rather ferociously seem either irrational or close minded. If you deem your personal responses as "ferocious" by my definition then I suppose you have grounds to take some offense, though I meant no offense at all. But I say close minded because many scenarios he gave were just mere examples and not necessarily a model to be used in the future when conversing with the opposite sex (mainly for males). |
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Clockwork
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| 07/31/2010 4:52 PM |
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| hope i didnt offend any1! |
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~NEW ME
Posts:33
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| 07/31/2010 11:17 PM |
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First of all WOW you sound like a really great guy. I have not even met you but i think any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you. I am a girl i too am 17 an have yet to find a mr. RIGHT!! If you kno what i mean. I have jus got out of a very hurtful relationship an am lookin for a guy who will be real with me. I am not a bad girl an i DONT like bad boys either. I want someone who knows how to treat me. I would love for a guy to be real with me for once. I would also like to say that I love the fact that you are ok with the person God made you to be. I for one did not use to be one of those girls who thought man i am gorgeous. But thats jus what the devil wanted me to think. I respect the fact that a guy our age can say its not all about the apperance for you. All the guys i kno are all bout the looks. I cant stand it when guys degrade the girls. I like rap an hip hop too. Glad to see i am not the only christian person who thinks rap an hip hop are cool. LOL people trip an say how can you listen to certain stuff an still sing hyms on sunday. LOL I cant stand that. People like us need to stick together lol. I love to have fun. I try to be very outgoing. I love nature but i, like you enjoy it from the inside. Too girly to be a out door girl lol. One of the first things people notice about me is my shortness. I dont really worry bout it though. This is jus how God chose to make me. He made me how He wanted an He is the ultimate designer. I am the person that tries to not let things bother me. I am very sencere. I am very honest. I dont like being lied to so i would not do it to anyone else. Well i hope this helped a lil bit. I hope i didnt sound crazy lol.
(NEW~ME!!!) MY DADDY IS A KING!!! |
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Clockwork
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| 08/01/2010 12:45 PM |
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| lol well i suppose we are pretty alike in a few ways. I know what you mean when you say you want people to be real with you. My last relationshp was pretty unstable. It had absolutely no substance to it. The girl was cheating on me but kept denying, and I was like I know you are and I had so much proof, my friends had proof, even her friends had proof lol. I figured whatever if you want to play games and be fake then ok. I mean I hate when people try to get everything they want. Well let me rephrase that, I hate when people try to manipulate relationships into a one way street. In other words they ask, ask, ask, and only want to receive. And since they have no self control, a man can only give so much so they seek more relationships to form to obtain whatever it is they get gratification from...
There was a time in my life when I thought girls were just spawns of the devil... ok not really lol but as "FYMO" likes to call you complex-minded creatures, "heartless" |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 08/02/2010 12:25 AM |
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ugh that was a miserable relationship! I'm sorry Honesty is always the best thing! The guy I like right now is so good at being really honest and up front with me even if it's awkward or hurts. And so far things are going almost too good to be true
I love rap, hip hop, pop!! oh yeah! Tho some of it can get pretty raunchy, I have a lot of christian rap and pop and i noticed the more I listen to bad music the harder it is for me to think clean thoughts. But I love the beat!! |
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Clockwork
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| 08/02/2010 2:01 AM |
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| Well that's good Clare. As for music I love classical in the morning if it's a relaxing day and maybe at night. Also love Christmas music during Christmas time more than any other kind. But if it's like on my iPod Touch or somethin' mobile, I have mostly rap/hip hop and even some pop of all kinds. Waka flaka is the best to get me hyped before a game lol, but you all probably have no idea who he is. (Might be a good thing) |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 08/02/2010 7:00 AM |
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| No I'm not offended it comes out sounding harsher than if it was face to face, I need to remember that... =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Clockwork
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| 08/02/2010 7:03 AM |
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| Good to hear =) |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 08/02/2010 1:16 PM |
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| Hmm never heard of them! For christian pop/rap I think Grits is one of the better ones! A very calm one is Mat Kearney, he is more Christan too. I have all Toby Mac's stuff and now the new Newsboys is the same genre as Tmac. For non christian...Black eyed Peas...Timabland, I have a lot of just single songs from this or that artist!! You have any suggestions??!! |
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Clockwork
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| 08/02/2010 1:27 PM |
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| Well Iady gaga is ok. Or mariah carey, or alecia keys. everyone else i listen too is probably bad =( |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 08/02/2010 5:58 PM |
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| Lady Gaga is bad!! and so is Katie Perry. I love their catchy beat but they are bad! My brother's girlfriend is going all the lady gaga look and is going to her concert with my uncle:-/ that could be pretty bad! I love Maroon 5, Train, and some John Mayer... |
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Clockwork
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| 08/02/2010 5:59 PM |
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| lol ya i couldnt get too caught up in lady gaga |
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