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brandon
Posts:8
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| 06/20/2009 8:27 PM |
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 i really like this girl who is always with another guy who ends up hurting her the last time before her current boyfriend i asked her out she said she was afraid of getting hurt so i backed off for about a month and found out she is now in another relationship with a guy who only wants her for her looks what should i do. or be doing differently |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/20/2009 9:58 PM |
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I'd say just continue to be there for her for now.
cuz if she does end up getting hurt, she'll need a friend.
maybe she thought that after she turned you down, you weren't interested anymore??
Show her that you care etc... thats all I can think of 4 now... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/20/2009 11:14 PM |
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That's about all you can do, be there for her. If you have let her down once let her know you won't. When she realizes her mistakes you'll be the first one she'll turn to. |
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brandon
Posts:8
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| 06/21/2009 4:13 PM |
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| well actually today she openly admitted that my looks are y she wont date me..... should i jus move on |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/21/2009 8:13 PM |
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really *shock horror look on my face*
that is extremely shallow and sad!!
I'd probably move on cuz thats just not cool! honest, i get so mad when girls treat guys like that... I actually slap girls in the face if I hear them say that. It's really horrid for them to treat guys like that... i've never not liked a guy because of the way he looked... She's not worth your time if she honestly meant that... and it will be easier for you to move on if you completely cut all ties with her... i know its hard, but there is someone better out there for you, who will appreciate you for who you are... I dont know how to sound happy saying that, sorry... Im not trying to be mean, but it will save you alot of heartache to end it now...
I hope you can sort it out and that in the future it goes well  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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brandon
Posts:8
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| 06/21/2009 9:27 PM |
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| yeah ur right my friends have been trying to set me up with this other girl lately and i have been saying no but maybe i should to move on go on one date an see what happens. what do u think do u think im moving on to fast |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/22/2009 12:13 AM |
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| No I dont think you're moving on too fast :d because it wasnt an official relationship etc, if you move on, no one can hold it against you, and you never know, maybe this other girl will be really nice |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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brandon
Posts:8
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| 06/22/2009 12:56 PM |
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Well we met me and the other girl.  it was horrible i tried tlking to her to get to know her she just shut down i asked how her summer was she ignored me then told me she doesnt wanna tlk and so i asked her friend later what was wrong she told me that she just wasnt interested becaus well im a little over weight. so tell me again that girls arent shallow. u girls know that as guys our heart can hurt too |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/25/2009 12:16 PM |
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Ouch... I'm sorry Brandon. It must hurt a LOT. I guess all you can do now is wait for God to bless you with a godly girl who ISN'T shallow! And when I say wait, I mean to improve who you are and get so lost in a relationship with God that a godly girl won't be able to overlook you if she tried!
But tha's just my two cents.  |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/25/2009 5:22 PM |
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| If a girl can't like you just because you're a little over weight then she isn't worth it. My boyfriend is big, and he doesn't see why I like him. That's just it, I like HIM!! I am very under weight and we're an interesting sight together. Looks should never matter that much it's character that counts. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/25/2009 5:50 PM |
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Some girls are shallow, and they're not worth your time!
I'm sorry that the girls was shallow, but yeah, there is someone better out there for you, you just need to wait and find them... Listen also to the 2 posts above me, these girls know what they're talking about |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/25/2009 6:31 PM |
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| Well thanks Jo! Honestly I used to have a problem with his weight, but when I saw his heart I couldn't help liking him. He's working on loosing some and that really impressed me. I don't know what your situation is like Brandon, but if you are trying to work on your weight...I'm not exactly sure how to put this, A girl likes a guy who cares about himself. If you don't want to change and just want people to like you how you are--big, it gives the impression of laziness. I hope I didn't offend you, I'm just saying what I experienced!! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/25/2009 6:41 PM |
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I can't remember if there is anything about this in FYMO, but in FYWO it talked about how guys don't necessarily want someone who is perfect looking, but they like a girl that takes care of herself and show respect for herself by taking care of herself and her body/weight.
It's the same for us girls. A guy who seems to not care or try to change the fact that he is overweight seems to subconsciously not care about himself and be confident in himself.
Weight isn't (and truly shouldn't be) everything, but confidence and self-respect are very important.
That really doesn't mean that girls will only go for the guy who spends all his free time at the gym (they look great, but I want to spend time with the guy, not just see him in passing, plus I know a couple guys who are a little obsessive and it's annoying), but it certainly goes a long, long way to be a little active and not obsess but care about what you eat. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/25/2009 6:56 PM |
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| That's what I was trying to say. Thanks!! |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/25/2009 7:08 PM |
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Brandon, my man, I have been there. Very few things are as painful as what you've been put through. If you let it fester, those experiences can end up defining you. However, if you decide to do something about, frankly, if you get mad instead of sad, then those experiences could help propel you to greatness.
You seem like a decent guy, so don't change that part of you. Other than that, here's what you should do. Start eating better and hit the gym. Six months to a year tops you'll be walking around with some washboard abs and great hair. Those two girls will be all like, "Brandon! You should totally come hang out with us!" And you'll be all like, "Psh! I'm going to go hang out with my amazing and gorgeous new girlfriend." And then you'll be laughing.
Honestly, though, the above situation is totally possible. In addition to making you physically look better, going to the gym and eating right, while difficult, result in a surge of self-confidence. I'm not sure how heavy you are, but with dedication and hard work you could be six pack lean within six months to a year, if not less. My point is this: barring something medically related, your weight is something you can control. You can do something about it. Don't do what I did and wait years, letting those negative feelings practically control me, before doing something about it. If you want, I can point you towards some great resources for this sort of thing.
I'll say this just once more. Imagine yourself in a year. You'll be here, still alive, still in school and whatnot. Now imagine yourself in a year as a great looking, very in-shape guy. That is totally possible. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 06/25/2009 7:10 PM |
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| I believe that those girls acted really shallow in closing off to you just because of physical appearance. I have to admit that while physical appearances does play a role in physical attraction, it shouldn't (and for me it doesn't) play the entire role of whether or not you should get to know the person better. A guy will win my heart if he displays the character of Christ, and he may end up being something more than a friend in the future, he may only be a friend of mine till time stops. It does help that he shows he takes care of himself too. Brandon, my heart really goes out to you, you're probably a wonderful guy any girl would be lucky to have as a friend or something more. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/25/2009 7:29 PM |
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Yes and when all else fails, Look for your sorce of Identity and worth in Christ. He's the person who defines us!!
He loves us just the way we are, and yes, that doesn't mean we don't need to take care of ourselves, but it does mean we need to not worry so much about what other people think.
I mean, yes, there have been guys who are not exactly mr world that I haven't liked, and there have been guys who are completely tonned and handsom etc that I haven't liked at all aswell. but I have liked guys all across the board (except probably really really unfit people cuz Im sporty and I tend to do alot of physical activity...) but honestly, for me, i normally do not like a guy because he's good looking. actually, most of the guys i've liked aren't really that goodlooking.  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 06/25/2009 7:32 PM |
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| Jojo hits it in the head again. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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brandon
Posts:8
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| 06/26/2009 11:28 AM |
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| thanks everyone ur a great help its nice to be ale to have friends that can help when ur down. but im big not out of shape that much im big because i play the offensive line on the football team try looking at the colts offensive line its full of big guys im big becasue i play a big par on the team that needs some weight and i do go to the gym to pump iron but i would like to loose some wieght an switch positions so ill give it a shoot. and thanks again for the advice. ohh and if ur parents wont let u have a myspace or u want a christian myspace go to www.faithfreaks.com its really cool look for me my name is brandon my picture is me satnding up making a peace sign ull find me. |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/26/2009 4:32 PM |
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Brandon, if you want to lose weight and are familiar with the weight room in a gym, I highly recommend Fat Loss Revealed by Will Brinks (fatlossrevealed.com). It's around fifty bucks, but it's well worth it. I know the front page might strike you as gimmicky looking, but the site is solid, don't worry about that. Anyways, hope that helps.
Also, girls are strange, oft backwards creatures. You might want to invest some time into figuring out how to act around them. Unfortunately, the ultra-nice routine rarely works. Anyways, the best of luck to you man. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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