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Ellie2
Posts:1
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| 08/27/2011 6:53 PM |
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I dated my boyfriend for four months. its been two years since we've broken up,and since then ive grown so much in God,and he's really made it clear that he wants me to guard my heart for that one special guy he has for me, and not to date throughout highschool. He's been the only guy ive dated,so he means a lot. but its been TWO YEARS and i cant seem to get over him. He knows that i miss him,but he could care less and never talks to me. Ijust dont know what to do. Its a big distraction,and I feel that even though im saving not only my body,but my heart for my husband,that this one guy came along and messed it all up!  How do i stay focused on God like he wants me to,when i feel like this guy has so much power over me when we dont even talk? |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 08/29/2011 2:24 AM |
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| Well maybe he was the guy but you both weren't ready yet. Sometimes getting over the person you once loved isn't as simple as no longer loving them. One of the things you should do is at least talk to him. It's good you want to wait for the perfect guy but you can't know who that is. Sometimes you need a fresh start. But for now just wait and see. Just be patient and get something to focus on. He could be the right guy but you never know. Love is a difficult thing. When its lost a person usually will feel like y0u do. So it might not be bad neccesarily but you should eitjer wait it out or talk to someone you yrust or speak to him. Think about it. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 08/30/2011 6:21 AM |
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hey Ellie! welcome to the forums!
you probably dont know some of our storys, but I'll fill you in on some of mine 
I have totally been in your situation... and worse... to a degree...
I've heard, that you take the amount of time you were together, divide it by 2, and thats about how long it takes to move on from the person... that's just a general rule, it isn't standard for everyone.
I was in love with a guy, and I wanted to marry him, and everything seemed to be heading that way... and being a girl, you tend to hope alot haha. and you know, you sorta plan a wedding in your mind etc etc etc... and turns out. I found out in a really hard way, he was dating someone else at the same time we were working on a special friendship...
and there I was feeling betrayed and heart broken and it took me about a year to get over it. point being... never let your head and heart run away from reality hehe
now to your actual post, now that you know a bit about me...
quitting cold turkey is probably the fastest way to get over someone, that means no photos, no texts or emails that you've saved cuz they were from him (I know us girls ALWAYS do that...)
no planning on hanging out etc etc etc... if you dont see him, you dont think as much about him...
and I'm not saying dont be friends, just dont put yourself in a situation where you can linger on him... or where your feelings come back to life (trust me, it happens so easily, even when you think you're over him.)
you're not messed up. us girls are just wired a certian way, emotionally... and yes, it seems suckish, but God must have his reasons! one guy I had a thing with for about 2 weeks? and I always think I'm over him (he lives far away) and every time I see him, it all comes flooding back. but I refuse to go there...
you need to find a trusted adult who you can talk to, just so you can get everything out and see for yourself exactly what you're thinking. cuz sometimes, you dont realise what you're actually thinking... and you need someone who can pray for you and with you about staying strong! and you need to rediscover who you are in God and that you dont NEED a man to be fulfulled.
once you're secure in that, you can face relationships better. and always remember, if he's not the one, God's got a way better guy in mind for you. thats the way I look at it!
If you can, read this book called "His princess bride" by sheri rose shepherd.
It's about Jesus being our prince. and it helped me alot to realise if I have Jesus, I dont NEED a guy, even though i do really want to get married but it's helped me cope better about being single.
and idk if I answered everything, but you are welcome to ask me or drake or nicole any questions you want to we'll do our best to help you out |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 08/30/2011 6:30 AM |
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Pretty much. Although ill be shorter and more to the point we can help. Just email or post. But yeah jojo is right mostly. I say wait it out till after school. He seems like a nice bloke so wait and see. If he's not the guy then hes not the guy. Just wait. God will show you the way. I'd quote but I'm on my phone. but yeah. You get the idea. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 08/30/2011 6:33 AM |
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oh thanks for sorta reminding me of one thing I wanted to say Drake
if he IS the guy... God can bring him back into you life later, so just move on for now, cuz you never know and at least you wont be confused or upset or whatever
yes it's hard, but you can do it! You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 08/30/2011 6:39 AM |
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| Sure thing. So see how you go and remember what jojo said. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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